Sweden is number 18. That’s an impressive 16 country jump; I’m sailing over Russia, Finland, Japan and France. It’s a list of 106 countries, of which Haiti is at the bottom. That’s right, Haiti. Apparently Koreans don’t believe in therapy because it’s not stoic enough. (Or that’s my interpretation of an NYT article.) Also, suicide is the number 3 cause of death for young people (15-24) in the U.S.
(photo from HowStuffWorks)
Yesterday I stumbled onto a Discovery Science channel show about creating real life invisibility cloaks. Scientists are working on the possibility of creating a garment that bends light around itself and allows the light to regroup on the other side. This cloak is completed with special eye lenses that allow a fractional amount of light for the wearer who would otherwise have the choice of being blind or being a pair of floating eyes.
AND watches are back! Sort of. For fashionistas and metros (both of which = Sweden). I’m still pretty excited though.
I’ve been reading When Mars and Venus Collide, a book by the author (John Gray) of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus (which I should have possibly read first, but this one flew into my lap…). It discusses how men and women deal with stress differently and launches into various discusses of our differing happiness hormones. Men feel better when their testosterone levels are up and women feel better when their oxytocin (“the cuddling hormone”) levels are up. Turns out men deal with stress by going into their man caves (anything they want to focus on besides the problem – video games, tv, etc.), and women like to talk it out. It furthermore turns out that it drives men crazy when women drone endlessly about their feelings, and likewise, it drives women crazy when men retreat into the man cave.
This all reminded me of a a series of marriagey seminars that our (mostly married) church did in California. After watching each lecture, we would split into gender specific groups and talk. The women would affirm the speaker’s assertions on how men behave, and add their own comments. (I assume the men talked about the same stuff, though maybe they just grunted and fist bumped). I finally asked why people get married if the differences were so vast. Maybe this was my lazy self (I should name her – lazy name suggestions anyone?) coming through, but I didn’t see how the constant, draining effort could possibly be worth it for either side.
I was told it is worth it.
Anyways, some good advice in the book was: the 90/10 rule. You are responsible for 90% of your fulfillment. Develop yourself and your life and interests and spirituality independently. If you are happy and satisfied, you will bring a lot more to the table and you will allow your partner to “top you off” with the final 10%. Sure, as a single person you can take care of 100% of yourself, but when you’re in a relationship there is a mutual desire to share and boost, and that’s the final 10%. Relying on someone else for more than 10% is a great burden to put on them.