I used to think Avril Lavigne was pretty deep.

Or, if not pretty deep, kind of deep.  Deep enough.  Though a quick reread of some of her lyrics suggests that she lacks some of the imagined depth I perceived in high school, I can still see why some of her songs resonated with me as a high schooler.

“Everything’s changing, when I turn around

I’m out of my control, I’m a mobile”

Yup, pretty much sums up the constant, out of my control, changes thrown at me during high school.  Moving schools and houses, departing friends, juggling identities; all the fun TCK additions to a turbulent time of life.  (Now with more changes!)

And routines become addictive, even if the routine is change itself.  After high school I hopped universities, hopped majors, hopped countries; I pretty much dominated the bunny on a pogo stick act.

**

Now I’m in Stockholm.  I’m currently (unintentionally) stationary.  And it’s unnerving.  It’s like country winter silence: no traffic, no neighbors, hibernating crickets.

And my friends and family are hopping like mad, emphasizing my stillness.  Marriages, jobs, moves: my network is scattered.  It’s like the diaspora.  OK maybe not like that.

But it’s an interesting time, being in the audience, watching the lives of others.  There’s a lot of potential here.   A lot of time to learn, explore, meditate.  Stillness does not equal laziness.  (See, I’m deep like Avril.)

**

Also, if you’re a random reader wanting to know how to pronounce my name, they say it like 50 times in this clip.  Sarah Michelle Gellar is baaaaack.

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